Scars And Then More Scars ...

When you are diagnosed with Breast Cancer many things come with it and one of them is all of the scars you will carry with you for the rest of your life.  Physical scars are rough, they are a symbol of our journey with Breast Cancer always a part of our bodies. At first you don't care about all of the scars because you just want to get better and live.  Afterwards when the healing process begins you start to take notice of the physical scars all over your body.  You look in the mirror and your eyes gaze over your body and the scars trying to make sense of what you look like now, really trying comprehend what you will look like for the rest of your life ... and then trying to live with it.  Not so easy, everyday I look in the mirror at myself, my breasts, the scars ... the scar from the port, the scar on my back the scars on my breasts, all of it, I know every detail about all of my scars, how they look, how they feel even what color they are. And guess what?  This is a part of me for the rest of my life.  I know they say scars tell a story but this wasn't the kind of story I wanted.  I wanted the Fairy Tale, the perfect life, no illness, beautiful family, great body, I wanted all of it, but you see Fairy Tales are fantasy, and the reality of it is the scars are not.  Some people when I show them my scars are completely unaffected and can look beyond them to the person I am and other people look at my scars and the look on their face says it all, ugly.  I've even had people ask me how I can live with this!  My answer, I don't have a choice.  I can't change my scars it's a part of Mia forever and behind every scar lies pain and with pain you learn lessons and with lessons you learn to live your life better. Of course I'm still working on all of this ... the Fairy Tale that is ... and if I have anything to say about this the ending will be ... and she lived happily ever after ...

...