No Expectations
Let me save you any future pain, release all expectations of how the people closest to you will react to your cancer diagnosis. Oh in the beginning everyone’s in it for the long haul, right? Wrong, you are the only one in it for the long haul period! I always speak the truth so if I can in some way relieve any of my sisters of the pain and anger some people will bring into your life I will. Breast Cancer or any cancer is a life long journey and not everyone in your life is up for the task of dealing with your depression, doctor’s appointments and all of those days where the gray clouds just won’t make way for sunshine. You see we don’t have the choice of not showing up because cancer is interwoven as a part of our being, forever. For other people it becomes tiresome and inconvenient to keep up with all of it. And no fault to them some people just don’t have what it takes to be there for you. I have found you only deal fully with cancer when it happens to you. Learn to lean on yourself and hold yourself up. Guard your soul when those closest to you don’t act in a way that you think appropriate. It’s the inevitable that family and friends will disappoint you with their actions and or their words. There is no shame in ending a relationship with anyone that decided your cancer was a past-time, as a matter of fact I encourage you all to drop any person in your life that can’t take the heat of the cancer journey. Baggage? We have enough, it’s not our job to teach others how to act or react to our cancer diagnosis. It’s our job to take care of our bodies and just as important to take care of our minds. To the people that give endlessly to us during this difficult time a “Thank You” seems hardly enough, but know that we remember all of the people that are there for us and if you ever need us we will be there! As for the ones that didn’t give a shit when I was puking or having I don’t know how many surgeries … well you can kiss my ass because the truth of the matter is this… Your lack of support only showed what an inconsiderate human being you are and that would be whether or not you are family. You too will fall sick one day, and you too will look to others to help hold you up when you can’t hold yourself up. You are no longer a part of my life because your lack of sensitivity was larger than life. You not once visited with me yet invited me to your wedding in the midst of my chemo. Your excuse? You got carried away with your wedding plans? Well you were in your 60′s this wasn’t a first wedding, at this point in your life you should have known family is the most important thing. Your selfishness knew no limits therefore I choose to not have you in my life forever. I will no longer cover for you and pretend you did anything to make my life or the lives of my children easier during this time. You own this, you own all of it … mommy-in-law. And by the way “how’s your marriage working out for you?” Just wondering out loud.
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