Quiet Reflection

The holidays are over and I thought that I would be blogging away this holiday season about Breast Cancer and I was wrong.  I had a ton of good ideas however my  heart was not in it, for some reason I just didn’t have enough alone time to create it,  write it,  and feel it… This year the holidays were more a quiet time of reflection, and perhaps in it’s own way that was a message of it’s own.  This was the first Christmas in five years that I felt like myself, physically and mentally, minus my boobs that is.  Some people reading this could never comprehend how Breast Cancer can paralyze so many areas of you life,  I myself could never have imagined,  however that is why I blog to tell the real “truth’s” of Breast Cancer.   What made this Holiday Season more reflective than the past five?  … It was the first time in five years I was able to wear clothing that fit properly and reflects my personality since the Breast Cancer.  For some women this would not be an issue, for me it was.  I have always worked in the world of fashion and to not be able to express myself was a prison of it’s own.  I am also in the process of opening a storefront,  a business born from the ugliness that Breast Cancer brought to my life.  Who would have thought I would have ever left the comfort of standing behind the chair to dare and do something different,  I am not sure I would have had the courage had it not been for the Breast Cancer.  Cancer somehow makes you fearless, who cares if you fail or piss someone off,  those things are no longer an issue.   Because the truth is the real joy of the “Season” is being thankful for all that you do have and spending the Holiday Season with people closest to your heart.  Yes, quiet reflection was exactly what this Holiday Season warranted for me, it was what I needed, to just be still and feel all that is going on around me.